Fawn and Sexual Fawn

“…everything that I teach, I can only teach if I’ve experienced it. So I am so well experienced in the Fawning response, like incredibly. So when I learned about it, it was this kind of mind blowing moment for me of, ‘oh, this thing that I’ve been doing my whole life has a name and there’s a purpose’. And a lot of shame and guilt, and even embarrassment, faded away.”

-Luis Mojica, Founder of Holistic Life Navigation

Have you ever witnessed yourself Fawning in real time? Does your body tense up when someone tells you to be gentle with yourself? Do you associate pleasure with shame or guilt? 

Our exploration of how the attachment wound impacts the nervous system and overall health continues this week from a somatic perspective. Recently, Elisabeth was profoundly moved by the work of Somatic Practitioner Luis Mojica, who she found on Instagram. 

When she heard his brilliant teachings about how trauma responses show up in the body and relationships, she was compelled to invite him on to the show for deep discussion about Fawn and Sexual Fawn from a somatic perspective. We are honored that he joined us to talk about this complex topic. We felt so warm and open in Luis’ gentle, compassionate Presence. We hope you feel it in this episode, too.

Luis views the Fawn response as the body’s reflexive way to belong with other bodies. His wise somatic perspective on the nuances of the Fawn and Sexual Fawn trauma responses depersonalizes them. This understanding opens up a whole new way to relate to yourself in moments of Fawning and offers a freedom from the shame and guilt that come with reflexive trauma responses. It’s a beautiful compliment to Neuro Somatic Intelligence work. 

Experience working with Luis as he guides you to witness Fawn by noticing where you feel constriction in your body.Then he offers different ways to practice pausing in your life, to embody the sensation with self-compassion, regulate the nervous system and build trust with the body. This is a beautiful, gentle practice to begin freeing yourself from Fawn.

Also, we revisit the concept of Fawning as “quiet manipulation” from episode 5 with Margy. Elisabeth felt uncomfortable with that label after reading one of Luis’s Instagram posts. Luis reframes lying, clearing her discomfort and opening the door to deeper compassion for others.

As always, we share our personal stories to give you real life examples. Jennifer talks about her journey of celibacy. She attributes Luis’s teachings to taking her healing journey beyond attachment style into healing the coupling of shame and pleasure that came from early adverse childhood sexual experiences.

We hope you find this episode freeing and inspiring. We invite you to join us on the site to train your nervous system with us live for 2 weeks at no charge. Go to rewiretrial.com to get started. We look forward to seeing you there! 

Episode Highlights:

  • Luis explains over-coupling in relation to Fawn & Sexual Fawn
  • How early childhood development experiences shape our arousal patterns
  • Connection of Fawn with shame and Freeze
  • Definition of Sexual Fawn
  • How Sexual Fawning can compound the damage of sexual trauma in consensual, loving relationships
  • The tangible effect that triggers have on brain function
  • Importance of recognizing body sensations
  • Biology of arousal and how it can affect people with complex trauma
  • The protective response of “bracing” in the body
  • Unconscious lies of Sexual Fawning
  • Complexities of navigating sexual activation in the context of trauma responses
  • Importance of honoring your capacity as you gain awareness of Fawn and Sexual Fawn
  • How to build your capacity for joy
S3 E13

Listen to more episodes of Trauma Rewired HERE

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